Sapped

Today was rough. I was fine this morning, felt good, and then at about 12:30 I started to crash. I did some stuff around the house to try and stay awake, but when I sat down with the kids...I woke up later. :-) Even with the nap I was still feeling exhausted. Feeling a little better now, with my hubby's great idea to share a cup of coffee. Yay! P.S. He thinks the exhaustion is all in my head.

and so it begins...

Yes, I am sad to say that I overestimated myself in the cravings department. I really did think that I could drive through this 30 days without much of a fight for refined carbs. I know, I know. Angela? Cake-maniac, cookie-fiend, biscotti-fanatic, brownie-obsessed, tortilla-dependent, cereal-addict...Angela...Cobb? Yes, me. Those dastardly refined carbs! My mouth literally almost dove into the box of KIX this morning as I was pouring, I mean, making a delicious hot breakfast for my kids. Hey, the spoons were hot cause they were clean. So there I was with cereal box in hand when I remembered my friend Amber from the gym gave me a great mock-cereal idea. Nuts, raisins, bananas topped with coconut milk. Tastes JUST. LIKE. CEREAL. No kidding. I did smash the nuts a little inside a baggie with a rolling pin, maybe a little much, but I had to drown out the sounds of mewling in the background from the kids waiting to be fed. Actually it was just the oldest and youngest since the middle one was in the corner with the open bag of raisins. Now, no judgement people, if the other two would eat dried fruit, too, they could've had food much earlier. Sometimes it's all about initiative, like thinking outside the box.

Breakfast, Day 2. Cut an acorn squash in half, rub with a little evoo, bake cut side down for 30 minutes at 400°. Cut up an apple and toss with a little cinnamon. Turn the squash over, put the apple pieces in and bake another 25 minutes. Sprinkle some walnuts on top, add two eggs to the side, and hello hot breakfast!!

Love Story

The emotional journey on which I have embarked began with tears yesterday morning when I saw the box of KIX for the kids. Not because of my need or want to have a handful, but because of the pressure I have on myself to do well and stay strong on the path. Last night at Stamp Club I spoke to my very supportive friends about my journey. I didn’t want any cream puffs or chocolate covered pretzels...then again, it was day one. My husband warned me with kindness last night that my eating habits before yesterday weren’t so awful...that he doesn’t want me to internalize the results I want to derive and not undergo. Tears immediately came to my eyes for the seriousness of that statement. I cannot be the one in this competition to not show results. Yesterday I felt great, even doing FRAN*, even though I added 1 minute to my time but also 10 pounds. Today I feel scared but I am propelled forward by an amazing quote from my CrossFit Rio page:

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

With that in mind, I also had CrossFit on my mind last night as I was stamping and read a quote which I stamped on a card:

Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, Love gives us a FAIRYTALE.

What do love and fairytales have to do with the gym? It’s simple. After working out alone and in my garage for years after the twins were born I needed something intense, intimidating and physically exhausting. I found that awakening at CrossFit Rio. Every person I have met in that building is an inspiration to me in a different way. I never would have dreamed I can do the things I can without their encouragement. Even with gentle prodding, and a little bit of light banter, I added 10 pounds yesterday to my previous weight, sacrificing (in my mind) time. In the end, I got the red star for prescribed weight, and no matter how you rewind that, as fairytales go, that’s a pretty friggin’ awesome happy ending.

*FRAN 95/75

21-15-9

Thrusters

Pull-ups

My time @ 75 lbs 10:33

Okay, here's the dl. I CAN eat real food: meat, fish, eggs, vegetables, some fruit, and good fats from nuts, seeds, coconut, olives/olive oil and avocado.

I CANNOT eat/drink: grains, dairy, legumes, sugar of any kind (real or artificial), processed foods, white potatoes or alcohol.

Those of you who know me, know that the processed foods will be the HARDEST part, cause you know I love me some time capsules with cream (twinkies) and diet coke.

Seriously, with small children my eye may start to twitch around 6pm without chardonnay, but, I really want to work this. I WANT to change my life. I WANT to change my emotional relationship with food. I WANT to NOT look like I've had twins, dammit. I WANT to feel amazing and lead my life by example, because, really, you cannot exercise, eat what you want, and still kick ass on a wod with people 10 years younger than you. BRING IT!!!!!

"Let them come. There is one dwarf yet in Moria who still draws breath." -Gimli, The Lord of the Rings:The Fellowship of the Ring

A new beginning

Starting Monday, Sept 27 I will begin an 8-week body % loss challenge at my amazing gym, Crossfit Rio Rancho! Not only will I be journaling my emotions and eating throughout this time but I will begin with a 30 day strict cleansing period. I will eat strict Paleo for 30 days. This includes no alcohol, no sweeteners of any kind...basically only meat, veggies and fruit. More to come after my killer health seminar on Sunday!!